More about "All In My Head" by Paula Kamen

As I mentioned previously, I am reading "All In My Head" by Paula Kamen, a book about her struggle with chronic daily headache disorder. It's a difficult book for me to read, since much of it mirrors my own experience with chronic fatigue and Hashimoto's thyroid disease, IBS, migraines, allergies, among other health issues.

Since my doctor, friends, family and even my husband appeared to believe that nothing was really wrong with me except depression, I've kept a lot of what I deal with under wraps. That's not to say I never talk about it, just that I haven't always been honest about the extent to which I was (and am) in pain, even to myself.

From the time I was a little girl, any time I was sick, my Dad used to try and tell me that "it's all in your head" and that I was really okay to go to school. I can't really blame him, that's how he managed to get himself to work every day, even though he had high blood pressure and hyperthyroidism at the time, and probably felt just as crappy as I did. So, I always felt guilty about being sick, even when I was swearing I would never work myself into the ground like he did.

What is so amazing about this book is, that it's the first one I've ever come across in about seven years of dealing with these problems that has effectively dealt with the actual emotions women in chronic pain feels. Being predominantly a rationalist skeptic, I had no clue why I was willing to be try untried alternative medicine. Being a feminist, I had no idea that I was such a pushover when my doctors told me that depression was causing my pain and fatigue. Being logical, I have no idea why I was so compliant when they doubled doses of a medication that I told them was giving me horrible side effects. When I look back on it, it almost feels like it happened to an entirely different person. To find out that it is happening to women on a daily basis is unconscionable.

I'm a little more than halfway done with the book. I have a feeling that once I finish, I'll be sending a copy to each of my immediate family, in the hopes that they'll read it and perhaps gain a little more understanding of this issue. I usually try to resist the urge to have other people's words speak for me, but it would be hard to beat "All in My Head" for this purpose, particularly when you're a singer and actress and not much of a writer.